Behind The Wheel, the dumb, unnecessary, stupid, nerve-racking, Virginian, ignorant, ugly, boring, required program that enables me to get my license. Behind The Wheel is the only thing left that I must do in order to obtain my license, other than wait until September. I've already driven 30 hours in the day, and 15 hours after the sun had set. All I need now is 7 hours observing, and 7 hours driving of the stupid Behind The Wheel. And to enroll in this program, you have to pay a hefty amount of $250!!!!!! That is ridiculous! I don't want to burden my family with this sum, because they are paying for my FH trip as well, which is another $160... I hate money for what it does to the best of us. The world cannot survive without money. *sigh* For the bible says in Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Businesses these days are corrupt and only devote themselves to the gain of even more money. Unless it's for a good cause. Such as Father Heart.
Ughhh. Even though I am excited to get a laminated plastic with my details on it, I already hate driving. No lie. I understand why my parents and people I know hate to go out to drive and especially for long distances. It's hard to explain, but I understand their reasoning.
I realized that when I get my license, sometime in the future, which car will I take to go wherever I need/want? My dad and mom are constantly on the move going places, but if I take the sedan or van, whatever will my parents do? haha. So I'm thinking about saving money for a used car, but I'm also worried about how I'm going to save for it. *sigh* Nothing is as easy as it sounds.
I've realized something that doesn't really relate to this at all.
The future never comes to us. We never experience the future, because once the "future" is upon us, it is the present. it is now. and that means the future is now and now and now and now...The future is the present before the present if that makes sense?
haha, a little philosophy here and there. Something that I just noticed.
Whatever will I do with my life. haha.
Life is the most confusing puzzle.
Life is the largest labrynth maze.
Life is a tunnel with many different paths.
Life is a rubiks cube of infinite dimensions.
Life can be solved through Jesus.
The solution is God.
a freeverse poem? possibly?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
If Only I Started Lacrosse Earlier...
I didn't blog the last few days because I was busy I guess. haha. Well, now I need to redeem myself for those mishaps. So, I recently took up an interest into Lacrosse. Lacrosse is such a great sport. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it in play. Intense action, skillful players, and best of all, it has great sexual references. lol. Not that it's the only reason I want to play. hahah. You know because lacrosse is played with a stick and balls. I'm so bad. -_-||l
So now that I'm a rising Junior, I have 2 years left of high school. I want to take up lacrosse. I already know the basic skills and handling tricks so I just need to improve them and learn to shoot etc. etc.
I feel like I won't have enough time to be a good player in lacrosse, but I want to anyway. I was passing and throwing the other day with my friends, but whenever they passed to me I sucked. haha. I need to practice. So today I'm going to buy a lacrosse stick and practice everyday! Nothing will stop me, except if God wills me to of course. I still haven't gotten around to get a job. *sigh*
I hope that this year and the next will be favorable towards me. I ask God to be the lamp to my feet, to pick me up whenever I fall, and to hold my hand and walk with me. I need more determination and devotion to school too. Can't forget that. Ughh. Life = Tough.
On a sidenote I am reading the third in the Eragon Cycle, Brisingr. The Eragon cycle is fun and enjoyable for me. I love them.
I've recently fell in love with Sanctus Real and their song "Alone"
good band. iheartthem.
So now that I'm a rising Junior, I have 2 years left of high school. I want to take up lacrosse. I already know the basic skills and handling tricks so I just need to improve them and learn to shoot etc. etc.
I feel like I won't have enough time to be a good player in lacrosse, but I want to anyway. I was passing and throwing the other day with my friends, but whenever they passed to me I sucked. haha. I need to practice. So today I'm going to buy a lacrosse stick and practice everyday! Nothing will stop me, except if God wills me to of course. I still haven't gotten around to get a job. *sigh*
I hope that this year and the next will be favorable towards me. I ask God to be the lamp to my feet, to pick me up whenever I fall, and to hold my hand and walk with me. I need more determination and devotion to school too. Can't forget that. Ughh. Life = Tough.
On a sidenote I am reading the third in the Eragon Cycle, Brisingr. The Eragon cycle is fun and enjoyable for me. I love them.
I've recently fell in love with Sanctus Real and their song "Alone"
good band. iheartthem.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
If Only I Had A Job...
UGHHHHHH! I need a job. I could really use the income for personal wants and needs. The only problem is, I get scared of working. Honestly, I get scared of being taught how to use the cash register for instance. What if I screw it up, what if I.... and so on. I would really like the money, but I can't bring myself to ask for a job at a hiring location. It makes me nervous on how they'll react to me if I ask for an interview or application. I need to get over this fear.
Being a pk, your parents can't really buy you most of the things you want. So, a job could give me money for myself and also help me start saving for college. Jobs do wonders, yet, they are hated. As I said in my last post,the last book I read was "Confessions of A Shopaholic" and well, in that book, the main character used money she didn't have to get what she wanted. She was in debt with the bank and she threw away the letters or hid them, and avoided contact with the bank, and her credit cards were all canceled because she never paid off her debts and ignored the calls. Okay, well I don't know where I was going with that, but I don't EVER want to be like that. I want to be able to live happily knowing I have enough money to buy things that I might frequently or occasionally want.
Hmmmm, okay, I've made up my mind to find a job, during this summer. Speaking of income and money and jobs, I still haven't gotten around to open a checking account. At Wachovia they have student checking accounts that help you save for college and also the checking account doesn't require you to have a minimum balance, and that's pretty amazing. haha, anyways. It doesn't matter where I work or whatever my work is, as long as I have a steady yet small income. haha. life is tough/hard/unfair/etc. etc. Personal wealth, here I come. puahaha. psyche.
Being a pk, your parents can't really buy you most of the things you want. So, a job could give me money for myself and also help me start saving for college. Jobs do wonders, yet, they are hated. As I said in my last post,the last book I read was "Confessions of A Shopaholic" and well, in that book, the main character used money she didn't have to get what she wanted. She was in debt with the bank and she threw away the letters or hid them, and avoided contact with the bank, and her credit cards were all canceled because she never paid off her debts and ignored the calls. Okay, well I don't know where I was going with that, but I don't EVER want to be like that. I want to be able to live happily knowing I have enough money to buy things that I might frequently or occasionally want.
Hmmmm, okay, I've made up my mind to find a job, during this summer. Speaking of income and money and jobs, I still haven't gotten around to open a checking account. At Wachovia they have student checking accounts that help you save for college and also the checking account doesn't require you to have a minimum balance, and that's pretty amazing. haha, anyways. It doesn't matter where I work or whatever my work is, as long as I have a steady yet small income. haha. life is tough/hard/unfair/etc. etc. Personal wealth, here I come. puahaha. psyche.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
If Only I Knew Where My Life Was Going...
Okay, so, I was cleaning my closet yesterday and well it just so happens that I found a book of all the classes in my school, electives and all. I'm flipping through it and then I start to wonder what am I going to do in the future? Sophomore year, ehhh, I pretty much did horribly, but now I have this determination to get good grades instead of bad ones. haha. Anyways, I'm now flipping through the book page by page reading all the courses and electives and I'm trying to plan it out. My Life Plan if you will. So Junior year, I'm taking, Algebra III w/ Trig, U.S. History, English 11, Spanish III, Chemistry, Strength & Body I, Finance, and Imaging Technology I think? I really don't know what I want to do in the future.Like, I honestly don't know what I'm going to be. I'm sort of wanting to be a Culinary Artist, but, they work for so long. Like 6 AM to 8 PM. And I don't know if I can do that... I like editting pictures and taking them, but I don't know if the pays good, and who offers jobs to this career class. I also like the idea of working in the hotel business, but I don't know if I have the qualifications. I'm so confused on what to do. High school prepares you for college obviously, and well, I don't know if I'm prepared enough. Ughhh, life is tough. I'm wanting to go to college and hoping I can. Speaking of college, SATs... I honestly don't know if I can get a good score on the SAT. I'm sort of confident in the vocabulary, but not so in the Mathematics department...
"I'm going to try my hardest and succeed" This is going to be my motto until I get into college, hopefully. Recently my parents have been increasing the 잔소리 and well, it pressures me a lot. I honestly want to make my parents proud to be MY parents and make them stop comparing me to others. Like whoever said in the testimonies at SBC, "whenever you (parents) compare us, that's what hurts us pks the most." My mom asked me yesterday when we saw these homeless men standing on the median of the road before a traffic light, with signs saying "NEED WORK, GOD BLESS." She said, "Do you want to be like them?" and I replied defiantly "NO!" Haha, then my mom started to complain about how they're just standing there when they could be working at mcdonalds or something.
I'm truly going to change my procrastinating ways and start doing something about my life. I don't want to be uneducated and living on the streets. No offense to the homeless. I feel sympathy towards them. I ask God for guidance almost everytime I pray. To help me see, to help me get through this life. I often like to use this analogy for Christianity. "Earth is like high school, and Heaven is like college. We all get taught and educated in God's ways on Earth. We all stay on Earth for however many years we need to get educated, be it 1 year or 969 years. Jesus is our teacher, mentor, counselor, principal, tutor, leader. But then at the end of our lives, We take the SAT. God is our proctor. our judge. Depending on your knowledge and application of God's ways and if you truthfully seeked to get into college through the teacher (Jesus). You get accepted into the most prestigious and honored college. Heaven.
P.S. I want to be more like Andy. He's a freaking genius. Feminine, but smart. haha. I honestly do. I'm even reading more books now. My most recent book I read was "Confessions of A Shopaholic."
haha. don't judge.
"I'm going to try my hardest and succeed" This is going to be my motto until I get into college, hopefully. Recently my parents have been increasing the 잔소리 and well, it pressures me a lot. I honestly want to make my parents proud to be MY parents and make them stop comparing me to others. Like whoever said in the testimonies at SBC, "whenever you (parents) compare us, that's what hurts us pks the most." My mom asked me yesterday when we saw these homeless men standing on the median of the road before a traffic light, with signs saying "NEED WORK, GOD BLESS." She said, "Do you want to be like them?" and I replied defiantly "NO!" Haha, then my mom started to complain about how they're just standing there when they could be working at mcdonalds or something.
I'm truly going to change my procrastinating ways and start doing something about my life. I don't want to be uneducated and living on the streets. No offense to the homeless. I feel sympathy towards them. I ask God for guidance almost everytime I pray. To help me see, to help me get through this life. I often like to use this analogy for Christianity. "Earth is like high school, and Heaven is like college. We all get taught and educated in God's ways on Earth. We all stay on Earth for however many years we need to get educated, be it 1 year or 969 years. Jesus is our teacher, mentor, counselor, principal, tutor, leader. But then at the end of our lives, We take the SAT. God is our proctor. our judge. Depending on your knowledge and application of God's ways and if you truthfully seeked to get into college through the teacher (Jesus). You get accepted into the most prestigious and honored college. Heaven.
P.S. I want to be more like Andy. He's a freaking genius. Feminine, but smart. haha. I honestly do. I'm even reading more books now. My most recent book I read was "Confessions of A Shopaholic."
haha. don't judge.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
If Only K-dramas Weren't Addicting...
Yeah I know it's late, but it's fine. What papa don't know won't hurt him. Jeez, I'm so bad. haha?
Well, anyways, so recently I've been watching, er...RE-watching one of my favorite Korean dramas A.K.A. K-Dramas. "My Name Is Kim Sam Soon" and well it's addicting. I see all these commercials on KBS and MBC for k-dramas and well they all seem so intriguing!! Koreans are very good advertisers haha. Seeing all this got me thinking, what if God was advertised like this? What if God was advertised and this allowed for an addiction to God? I thought to myself, what a GREAT idea! But the "media world" would probably reject it and burn it and do all sorts of hell to it. The world today, PSH. Ehhh, I need to be intrigued and interested in God as much as I do in my addictions to K-Dramas and games and whatnot. I've realized I'll never achieve that goal if I don't do anything about it. (DUH?!) haha. I often ask God to help me in my prayers but God won't do it FOR ME, but he CAN guide me and help me when I'm stuck.
I need sleep. I shouldn't be up. Like Gloria said, I need to recharge my batteries. haha.
Good Night. 안녕히 주무세요~
ㅋㅋㅋ.
Well, anyways, so recently I've been watching, er...RE-watching one of my favorite Korean dramas A.K.A. K-Dramas. "My Name Is Kim Sam Soon" and well it's addicting. I see all these commercials on KBS and MBC for k-dramas and well they all seem so intriguing!! Koreans are very good advertisers haha. Seeing all this got me thinking, what if God was advertised like this? What if God was advertised and this allowed for an addiction to God? I thought to myself, what a GREAT idea! But the "media world" would probably reject it and burn it and do all sorts of hell to it. The world today, PSH. Ehhh, I need to be intrigued and interested in God as much as I do in my addictions to K-Dramas and games and whatnot. I've realized I'll never achieve that goal if I don't do anything about it. (DUH?!) haha. I often ask God to help me in my prayers but God won't do it FOR ME, but he CAN guide me and help me when I'm stuck.
I need sleep. I shouldn't be up. Like Gloria said, I need to recharge my batteries. haha.
Good Night. 안녕히 주무세요~
ㅋㅋㅋ.
If Only I Had Started Earlier...
Well, this is my first real blog, and I hope to actually continue this and get somewhere with this and NOT quit updating and so on. I actually started a blog when I was about 10 I think on Xanga. I updated and updated everyday, until I realized, I don't have ANY friends. haha. So I discontinued it, unfortunately. So, I plan to continue this blog almost everyday. Each blog post starting with "If Only (insert topic here)." Here we go, post #1. 가자!!!!!